2023 In Review: Working, Reflecting And Saying Yes
I’ve always been an intentional person. At least, so I have been told. My parents were the first people who actually said it and my life has echoed it through the years. I grew up around some chaos in a small town where almost everyone in my lineage lived. Chaos was unavoidable and structure became my answer.
The thing is, life happened and soon that structure began to hold everyone else, take care of everyone else more than it took care of me. I mean, I would do all I could for myself to keep me alive; to put myself to work mentally and otherwise for others.
When 2023 began, I reached into my barrel to scoop some energy for myself and there was nothing there. I refused to believe that it was empty so I scraped and scraped, hoping to scoop a few drops, until I hurt myself. I drew my blood when all I needed was water for my spirit.
This is my year in review. The first I will share publicly because I tend to pour myself onto the page when I write about my life, and with the way the world works, I am often terrified of sharing the things I write about myself. I love protecting me and all my life’s contexts but I am sharing this one just because it’s the last bit of my ‘yes year’.
On January 7, I jolted out of sleep with the worst pain I have ever felt in my life struggling to kill me. At first, I told myself that I could wait till the next morning and proceeded to roll up like a ball hoping that by shrinking my body I would shrink the pain. I was wrong and alone.
The night ended with me rushed to the emergency ward and I had to go through the blur of being stabilized, injected, medicated and scanned. The next day, a surgeon came, spoke more English, someone said something else but I was a shadow of myself and was barely listening. My friends were taking notes and all I did was nod.
When I felt stronger, I took time to journal the experience and shared it as the first step to a year of saying yes to myself. Bruising myself in the process of scooping some water for my spirit shaped my year. It led me to recommit myself to me and to acknowledge that God also intended for me to enjoy the fullness of my life.
In my reflection, I remembered Shonda Rhimes and her year of yes. For the uninitiated, she decided one year to say yes to the things that scared her and it turned out to be the most transformative experience. I picked up the book and was fascinated all over again.
There and then, I decided to say yes in 2023 but not necessarily to things that scare me. Running from scary stuff has never been my style but not saying yes to myself as often as I should was the real wahala.
In the hustle of life, I had left some of my pockets of joy behind, lost touch with parts of myself and began to question myself in the worst way. You see, 2022 ended in some chaos which, as you know, isn’t quite my style. It was my first sign that things were out of balance but I really didn’t have the time to arrange stuff.
So, the first thing I did in January was to say yes to having time. I cut off some work and decided that while the financial benefits were great, the end results did not lockstep with my purpose. I needed the sync all around so I brought everything down and built a new system, filled with life and work activities that I feel fulfilled making time for.
….
In between medicines and tests and new meal plans, I said yes to media again. It has always been my playground and for over ten years now, I have woken up everyday to tackle one problem — to make African, particularly Nigerian media robust enough to sustain itself and drive real societal impact.
I spend my days asking and attempting to answer the questions — what if Nigerian media becomes a proper, thriving industry across all its sub sectors and what needs to happen to make this work? So, I experiment, build, collaborate and design roadmaps to learn, to grow.
Sometime in 2022, I began to question my media journey. Was it worth it? All the work behind and in front of the scenes. Couldn’t I have picked another industry to use my brainpower in? You know, the kind of questions you ask when you feel your energy winding down.
When I made a list of the things that were the best use of my time in this new phase of my life, media came up again. It hit me hard why I love it and want to work in it. I love the work I do and the possibilities of what I can do. Transitioning to media business with years of experience building newsrooms remains one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done and when I paused to reflect, I realized that I’d made significant progress. It signaled that the vehicle moved and that it can move better and faster. I said yes to staying on board which shaped the work I did for the most parts of the year.
Yeah, I said yes to my work but only this time, it was strictly work I found extremely meaningful and that aligned with my purpose. I entered the year as Operations Lead at Big Cabal Media with the crazy task of shaping the business operations of one of Africa’s most ambitious media companies. Each day came with its own challenges and the intricacies of this work requires a journal of its own. I am Chief of Staff now and the work is crazier than ever. I have notes for a lifetime.
Hectic as it was, I invested a lot of energy into this. If one of my life’s goals is to see media flourish in Africa, it is important that I do my absolute best to shape the direction and success of the company that will become the biggest media business out of Africa.
In another bucket, I continued building In Nollywood with my friend, Daniel Okechukwu and this was a beautiful adventure in 2023. We platformed a lot of important works, began and led key conversations, made more impact, more money and expanded the tribe. Our fellowship extended to Egypt and Ghana, and we continue to expand film conversations in Africa. We are assured of the importance of the corner of the media we are building and do not take it for granted.
Beyond these two, I spent a lot of time developing programmes for media professionals and teaching. I worked with the Nigeria Media Innovation Programme (NAMIP) to develop a media product fellowship and train young professionals in the fundamentals of the business.
There are many more projects I can’t share but they all were either born out of my love for media or simply fed my soul with more joy or both.
Some of my favourite moments featured conversations with fellow media folks where we just told each other hard truths and laughed at the craziness that comes with building in this space.
Let me say this. Working in media is crazy! Working in business operations is insane! Doing both is complete madness. I am sorry but I can’t find the perfect metaphor. Use your imagination. It’s brutal but really fulfilling work if you are into it. I am saying yes to it again in 2024.
….
I knew what I wanted this year. I wanted to live fully so I said yes to my well-being and the parts of my life that fill my soul with joy. First, I incorporated more movement into my day and took my yoga sessions several notches higher. My mornings became more and more for me, my mind and my time with God. My favourite project of the year was turning a portion of my office into a crafts area with my miniatures, painting materials, legos and toys reminding me to lift my head up and fill my life with joy.
I nourished my soul and body more than I have ever done this year and in this, I found the strength to face the craziness 2023 brought along.
In putting my spirit, soul and body first, I found time to contribute to my family and communities better. When you are usually seconds away from physical pain, laughter begins to mean more to you. I relished the sweetest moments of my weeks and shared more with my people. The latter was harder than I thought but what the heck, I know my bandages look like the finest patchwork but they hurt first before they became this beauty. I said yes to letting my community and family fill me up. I made new friends and strengthened existing bonds. I refuse to scrape the bottom of my spirit ever again and promise to keep her filled with joy.
In the latter part of the year, I said yes to more public engagements. I had taken time off in 2022 because of burnout and to avoid repetitive conversations without impact. As 2023 progressed, I reviewed some invitations and accepted them because I liked the topics and they aligned with my purpose. I had a blast at each one and connected with so many wonderful people. Let’s do more in 2024.
More importantly, in 2023, I said yes to me. Phew! This year, I experimented with life in ways that mattered to me and also scared me. Maybe it was the fact that I had to remember to take my medicines and do the medical lists but I never had to forget to take care of myself. I built new structures that poured into me as I poured into others. I shed my skin in areas that needed new grafts and greased it all round with flourish so it glinted brilliantly.
The beautiful thing about saying yes to you is that you see yourself fully, flaws and all, and are able to make plans to intentionally do better. Folks who used to call me intentional saw a different beast in 2023.
If life could be taken at any time, isn’t it best to deliver consistently, learn and protect your joy like your life depends on it? And that’s what I did. It’s no news that 2023 was challenging for ALL OF US. I cried on some days. On one of these teary days, I had been working non-stop, struggling to keep up with the piling life needs and had forgotten my medicine at home in the rush to make a flight. I felt so overwhelmed at the airport that I locked myself in a bathroom stall and just cried. By the time the plane touched down, I was relieved and had almost forgotten the chest-tightening feeling. Sometimes, a good cry is all you need.
Life is really about making the decision everyday to fight back, to try over and over. So I did that and kept trying till I got stuff right, asked more questions, solved harder problems and reflected better on my mistakes.
No need to front. 2023 has been a challenging year with big problems every week that stretched me. I loved it all, even the parts I hated in the moment. It’s a strange but fulfilling feeling. I finished the year with the ability to beat my chest and say “yes, I gave the most attention to the things that matter to me and did my best at them”.
I am also able to fully celebrate my best in 2023 and acknowledge that I most certainly will cringe at some of my efforts when I reflect later because I’ll grow and learn and do more in the coming year in the areas that matter to me.
There are usually lessons at the end of stuff like this so let me try. I continue to remain grateful for and learn contentment. It is truly a great gain. Also, there’s always love around you. Find it and accept it.
The last lesson is really about living and doing what fulfills you, even the small things. Collecting more miniatures this year has brought me so much joy. And please, don’t be afraid to want things that matter to you. I am looking forward to more in 2024.
Till then, goodbye 2023, I did my best. Hello, 2024, please be nice and give me more opportunities to do better.